there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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