i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
