forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
