He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
