In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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