I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
