3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
