Your tits are I can't wait for
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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