the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
