i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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