For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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