she was so not down for the gang bang
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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