We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
