She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
