help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
i out mim tonsoeep
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