My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Your dad touched me again.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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