your parents love me but you hate me
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Randomize
