After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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