So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Too much gin, very little bucket
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Randomize
