He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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