This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
