he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Randomize
