I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize
