Midget sex pt 2 tonight
id be glad to
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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