Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
