can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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