Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Randomize
