Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
