who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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