Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
