he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
You are a genius and a whore.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
