Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
