Walk of Shame. In a state park.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
