he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
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