I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
