is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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