quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
