I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
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