I hate your face
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
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