your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Randomize
