I feel like I'm in dance class right now
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
