Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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