Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize
