I must be too annoying 4 u.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
whose parrot is this?
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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