Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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