Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
