I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
