I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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