you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
lets start a swedish sibling band together
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Randomize
