I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
zippers are such a cool invention
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
