does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
